The supportive role of friend to someone who has lost their soul mate is not always an easy one, but when it is founded on love, it becomes patient and kind and unselfish and most of all, non-judgmental.
I cannot pretend to know what it feels like to lose my soul mate. I do have friends who have been there and I try to understand, to be as supportive as I can. I do not always succeed in helping them live with their grief, but I do try. I try to suspend my life for the few minutes it takes to call and just touch base, to ask how they are doing, how they are REALLY doing. And then instead of trying to think of what I am going to say or how to avoid causing them more pain, to listen, really listen to what they say, to engage with them. I try to remember birthdays and anniversaries, both happy ones and sad, because I know they will be especially tender and vulnerable on those days. I try to step out of my own confining little box of routine and remember to include them in my life, asking them to dinner, a movie, shopping or simply coffee for an hour. If they are up to it, I am thrilled. If not, I hold on to accepting where they are. They deserve a pass for as long as they need it. They are mourning. I am not. That is all the reason I need.