... a voice for those who mourn the loss of a soul mate
"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." - Leo Tolstoy

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

A beautiful Hello

I call my signs from John "Hello's" because to me that is what they are - little every day ways that he checks in with me and tells me "Hello, I'm right here. I love you and we will be together again." It's what keeps me going.
Today was no exception.
This morning, as I was driving my Goldendoodle Bella to daycare here in town, a chipmunk ran across the street a little way in front of my car on my street. We have chipmunks in Arizona but they are not as common [at least from what I have seen] as they are in other parts of the country. I am more likely to see a lizard run across the street than I am a chipmunk.
But there he was. 
Immediately, it reminded me of camping with John. In our early years together, John and I camped often. John loved it and it was also a way for us to travel around the eastern part of the country inexpensively because we didn't have much money in those days. We always saw the little chippers, as we called them, running everywhere in the campgrounds. John always remarked how they looked like little race cars with their tails going straight behind them up like little flags. He thought they were so cute and he loved watching them.
So then this little particular chipper started my mind drifting to our camping days and all the fun we had had. And I was thinking how I hadn't done too badly for a city girl from Astoria Queens. Especially since I had never done anything like that before. I was strictly a motel/hotel girl up until then. And I could swear I heard John say I had been a “good sport”.
So, I thanked him for all the good memories and fun times. And I was grateful I had them.
Then, two blocks away I saw another chipmunk just idling in the middle of the street. 
Two in one day, mere minutes apart.
As I neared this little guy, he scampered across the street from my left to my right and crawled up on top of a big rock by the curb.
Then, just as my car started to pass him he turned and faced my car and put his little front paws together and I swear he looked straight at me. And then - then! - he flicked his little tail several times as if in greeting and he continued doing that while I drove past.
I know in my heart that was no coincidence.
I know John did that for me. He knew it would mean something to me.
And then - back to reality - a lizard ran across the street.
I smiled all the way to daycare.
Thank you, John. You made my day.

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