... a voice for those who mourn the loss of a soul mate
"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." - Leo Tolstoy

Saturday, September 23, 2017

It Is What It Is

Do you often look for hidden meanings in words that you read? Or do you play back conversations you had earlier in the day, week, year, whenever? I sometimes do. And then I wonder why I put so much energy into trying to interpret something that wasn’t meant to be that deep—just some banal chatter between associates or friends. My husband would always say, “It is what it is.”

Some of you are aware that I have a very fun part-time gig as a customer service representative. It’s a job I do from my home office, wearing whatever attire I feel like and even an accompanying hat as my whim dictates. I keep the background music low, and depending on my mood, it can be any artist or group from ZZ Top to Little Big Town. Alexa does the DJ part, and I supply the caffeine. Early on, I realized that I seem to get calls from very special customers. Sometimes, widows call who are in early stages of grief trying to figure out the ordering systems their husbands had set up for repeat deliveries. They find it easier to talk a little to a stranger than to a relative or friend.

It might be a person living alone, who is worrying because his or her cat’s favorite food hasn’t been delivered on time. Often these are people that can use a little extra hand-holding. It’s so cute when they tell me they promised their pet a special weekend treat. We exchange the names of our pets, and we each gain a little warmth from our conversation. And I especially love calls from seniors needing help placing their orders who tell me they weren’t raised with computers. They delight in telling me their age and the kind of work they used to do.

Occasionally, I get a call that is so totally out of the blue, I know it has been ordained by the universe so that I can reach out to someone and share a small story or piece of advice, as I was moved to do today. A young man had cancelled an order for an item he said he had never selected or even admired in passing. We couldn’t figure out how he had come to order it. He told me he was saving up for something special, and I told him that maybe he would receive it for husband-of-the-year award or for his birthday, anniversary, and Christmas gifts combined. He kind of sighed and said he wasn’t getting the husband-of-the-year award. I was moved to share that I had a lot of years’ experience in the happy marriage department and that you want your spouse to be your best friend and the person who always has your back. I went on to tell him about my friend who couldn’t figure out why his marriage was failing when he always gave his 50%. I said in marriage you always need to give 100+% along with unconditional love and total respect. My new young friend was quiet for a moment and then he said that he could afford to do those things—they don’t cost any money. He said he was still puzzled as to how he had placed his original order. I said that maybe the universe wanted us to talk today. He agreed with me, and we said goodbye. I think he might earn that husband-of-the-year award after all. It is what it is.

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