... a voice for those who mourn the loss of a soul mate
"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." - Leo Tolstoy

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

A beautiful sign

Well, John really showed me a sign yesterday. A big one.
I was having our first meeting of a new spiritual/afterlife group that I am forming with two friends. We met at a restaurant in Carefree AZ and over lunch not only did we get some important work done but we shared some stories and got to know each other better. I told them my story about how John showed himself to me in the airport that first day after he passed by playing “Lyin’ Eyes” over the airport terminal loudspeaker. 

After checking my bags and getting my new boarding pass issued, Claudia and I ran for the stairs. And that was when John reached out to me for the first time since he had passed. As we were running down the stairs, overhead on the airport loudspeaker came the song “Lyin’ Eyes” by the Eagles. I couldn’t believe it.

Years ago, when I was divorcing my first husband, he dedicated that song to me. I’m not sure why. Bill did not take my decision to leave him very well. He felt that I was giving him a raw deal and was very afraid I was going to try to bilk him out of money. The opposite was true. My attorney had told me that I was the only doctor’s wife he knew who got next to nothing in her divorce. I didn’t care. I just wanted out. But that didn’t stop Bill from being angry and so he tried to hurt me by telling me that “Lyin’ Eyes” was my song since it was about a scheming wife who cheated.

I had told John about it when it happened and he helped me laugh about it. Over the years it became our private joke. Every time the song came on the radio, John never failed to poke me lovingly in the arm and say “There’s your song, Joy.” And he would smile and that would make me smile.
         And now John was doing it again. He was poking me. He wanted me to smile. *

After our meeting as Diane and I were walking to our cars we were talking again about songs and she told me how her husband, who was also deceased, loved Santana (it was playing overhead in the restaurant at the time - a sure sign from him) and how she was sure he was going to play Santana when they met again. I said John was probably going to play “Lyin’ Eyes” because he knew it would make me laugh again.
So, fast forward only a few minutes.
I was following Diane on the highway as we both drove to our next appointment, a class we were taking together. Just as I slowed at the stop sign before making my turn into the street where the class was going to be held, what plays for me through Pandora?
You guessed it! “Lyin’ Eyes”!!! 
Not only was John with me. Not only was he once again poking me and trying to make me laugh. But I think he was showing me how happy he was that I am continuing to keep busy and I am doing things that I love with wonderful sweet friends. Maybe he was even giving his stamp of approval to our new fledgling group.
Thank you so much, John. I love you.

* from I Will Never Leave You by Joy Collins

No comments: